Let Me Live My Passion

So I’m writing on a borrowed laptop. My fiancé accidentally spilled coffee on mine. Which had me in a bit of hysterics, since as a writer, my laptop is like a new lover. It never leaves my side. I forgave him, after my panic episode subsided. Problem is, I can’t afford to get it fixed nor to by a new one. I’m still the starving artist, desperately trying to live my passion.

All the spiritual leaders say to live your dream and that if you believe enough, you can actually make this your all encompassing reality. But too many times, I see talent falling to the wayside. Too many times, I see friends who gave up their day jobs, only to struggle every single day and get in deeper and deeper debt that causes frustration. This slowly eats away at any last bit of hope and belief that one can truly live their passion.

I’ve worked in corporate for quite some time and believe that I have really, already done my time. I finally found my Dharma and set out on a course to explore, create and share the words that I have inside. I am able to tell a story and to formulate words and strings of sentences into feelings from another state of consciousness. This is my talent and yet for some inexplicable reason, I am not able to manifest what I need, to be able to live from this passion.

I see other’s who have been a success and therefore I perhaps ask the craziest question of all – why not me?

I’ve dared to take the road less traveled by. I’ve dared to seek for my inner Self. I’ve dared to go against the grain. So why can I not live by my passion? So I say fuck you - I don't want the day job.

I want the life job.

So God, please let me live my passion and let me be able to live off my passion.

Why not me?